The Jar Jar Menace

Hello again, in honor of Star Wars Episode One The Phantom Menace back on the big screen, I feel it's my duty to explain why 3D wont be able to improve this poor excuse for a prequel.   I grew up loving the original movies like a lot of other kids destined to own a light sabre, so when episode one was slated for release I cried out like Chewbacca. Then I saw it.
First of all, who in the hell thought that Jar Jar Binks would improve the story?  I mean come on, "Miesa want to jab a pencil into my ear."  I once got a Jar Jar beach towel for my birth day,  I use it now to clean up when my toilet starts draining on the floor.  I digress. Moving on to the rat tails that seemed to be a big thing for a Jedi.  You would think that get cut off by a light sabre.  The eighties called, they hated it too.  For what ever reason George Lucas wanted to have something called a Pod race in the movie, really didn't make me think little Anikan Skywalker was any more bad ass.  Though I'm sure the plan to sell Lego's and crap worked out well.
On a personal note, my girlfriend has pretty much assured me that she will never want to see the original movies, all because she has only seen two of the lesser trilogy.  Thanks Jar Jar.
Now I could go on for hours about the stupid make up, and the desire to have a Yoda that was just a puppet, but I wont. I respect Samuel L. Jackson to much to keep going.  However, if you couldn't tell the same actor that was playing the emperor, also played the chancellor, then you're as dumb as George Lucas is.
For the sake of not having a stroke, I'm going to summarize the next two pieces of crap.  Episode two:  Anikan cries a bunch and wines about hating the Sand People and loving Padme.  He grows a rat tail and wines some more about Obi Wan Kenobi and not having enough to do being a Jedi. Oh yeah,there are a bunch or clones dressed like storm troopers.  Wow, Foreshadowing much? Just cut off Anikan's hand and be done with it.

By Episode three I figured some closure was necessary.  Much more of the same continues,  until the last hour.  I have to say the end of the movie was pretty good, even though Anikan did more crying.  We got to see the return of Darth Vader and James Earl Jones doing the voice.
In the end, the last movies wasn't too bad, even though Anikan went all out emo.  It felt good to be done with all this shit, it was like Jar Jar never existed.  Crap, someone is watching him in 3D right now.